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clar 23 nj/ca

Sadness and loneliness creatively inspire me. I haven’t been inspired lately

I live an incredibly quiet life

It’s a curse to be deeply enthralled by a lover. At any given time they can leave and break you. Leave you shattered with millions of pieces you wouldn’t even begin to know how to fix it. And with them they take your entire being. Everything you’ve ever taught them or showed them, everything they’ve ever made you feel—gone, into thin air like nothing ever happened

I love someone and it feels good. It has never felt as good as this with anyone before. I feel so privileged being with you. Though we’ve gotten fairly comfortable with each other, I still find myself in disbelief in how lucky I am to be with someone just as lovely as you. If you ask me, I believe I have all the wealth in the world—even more so when I have you in my arms.

journal entry 2/19

you hold everything. my heart, my soul, temptations, and desires
you hold everything. my heart, my soul, my temptations and desires


I knew I loved you from the moment you read me a quote from one of your favorite novels. It was when you told me that you highlighted moments and quotes from the novels you read that something just pulled me to you. There’s so much to you, from your complexity that I find a sense of simplicity.


I had poetry in my head until the sound of you drowned it out. You, with your short laugh that comes so unexpectedly, that splits the air and divides the atoms in my lungs; you, with your deep breaths that you think I don’t notice when you’re anxious; you, with the music you carry everywhere and is sometimes foreign to me; you, with all your thoughts tied up in that silence that you’re slowly letting me understand; you, with your quick humor and shy voice and you, you make me feel special and stupid and smart and terrible and beautiful all at the same time. I crave you, I crave the sound of you and the way you bleed my ink dry because of how much of you I have to write, because of how much of you I put down in word after word of yearning, you.